Read and Download Dracula: Badass Vampire Online Book PDF
ByBrent Reilly
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NOT FOR KIDS. The most historically accurate Dracula novel ever written -- plus vampires. Vlad the Impaler was not a count from Transylvania, but a blood-thirsty prince of Wallachia like his father and brothers. Feast your eyes on the real man who impaled thousands, burned kids alive, and fought kings, cousins, and Mehmed the Conqueror. EXCERPTS: |Your thirst for human blood will never go away. Do you still want my gift?| Vampiro, the first vampire, asked. |I'll be your undying friend for life,| Dracula promised. |So the stories are true. You are something called a vampire. What's it like, Dracula?| the king asked. Drac shrugged: |The diet sucks, the days are long, and the nights are murder.|The forest of impaled soldiers haunted the sultan. |The stench! Dracula weaponized odor! How many men does it take to impale 20,000 troops? Someone please do the math.| Naked, Justina offer Dracula her neck. He had gone too long and could barely contain himself.Drac knew he'd never see his mother again. He could not tell her he'd be fine because he would never be fine. The world was crap and he'd spend his life dodging diarrhea. Having |devil| for a last name would be both accurate and unhelpful. Dracula, which means |son of the devil| was hardly better.Justine smiled at the prince: |There may be no good way to die, but some are better than others, and collapsing on my naked body after orgasm ranks high up there.|Drac didn't understand. |Radu, you're bigger than Stephen. Kick his ass or he'll spend the rest of his life kicking yours.| If Radu knew how prophetic that would be, he'd wet himself.|I've never tasted German,| Vampiro said, licking his fangs. |The German language has too many consonants and not enough vowels.||Sharp wood puncturing the heart seems to kill vampires,| she told Dracula as the vamp beneath her bled out. |Hmm, even vampires die of heartbreak.|
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Synopsis
NOT FOR KIDS. The most historically accurate Dracula novel ever written -- plus vampires. Vlad the Impaler was not a count from Transylvania, but a blood-thirsty prince of Wallachia like his father and brothers. Feast your eyes on the real man who impaled thousands, burned kids alive, and fought kings, cousins, and Mehmed the Conqueror. EXCERPTS: |Your thirst for human blood will never go away. Do you still want my gift?| Vampiro, the first vampire, asked. |I'll be your undying friend for life,| Dracula promised. |So the stories are true. You are something called a vampire. What's it like, Dracula?| the king asked. Drac shrugged: |The diet sucks, the days are long, and the nights are murder.|The forest of impaled soldiers haunted the sultan. |The stench! Dracula weaponized odor! How many men does it take to impale 20,000 troops? Someone please do the math.| Naked, Justina offer Dracula her neck. He had gone too long and could barely contain himself.Drac knew he'd never see his mother again. He could not tell her he'd be fine because he would never be fine. The world was crap and he'd spend his life dodging diarrhea. Having |devil| for a last name would be both accurate and unhelpful. Dracula, which means |son of the devil| was hardly better.Justine smiled at the prince: |There may be no good way to die, but some are better than others, and collapsing on my naked body after orgasm ranks high up there.|Drac didn't understand. |Radu, you're bigger than Stephen. Kick his ass or he'll spend the rest of his life kicking yours.| If Radu knew how prophetic that would be, he'd wet himself.|I've never tasted German,| Vampiro said, licking his fangs. |The German language has too many consonants and not enough vowels.||Sharp wood puncturing the heart seems to kill vampires,| she told Dracula as the vamp beneath her bled out. |Hmm, even vampires die of heartbreak.|
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